For some people, these preparations may seem disconcerting and make them feel as if they are obsessed with death. This is likely why only 36% of older adults have discussed their burial plans with a loved one funeral flowers.
- What are the components of a funeral?
To plan a funeral, you must know what happens at one. In general, funerals have three components: the preparation of the body, the ceremony, and the burial. There are several options for each of them. Embalm or cremate? A full funeral home service, graveside service, or an unconventional ceremony? Who will attend? Closed or open casket? Burial in the ground or a grave, or the scattering of ashes in a significant place? You can find funeral planning checklists online to help you know what decisions you’ll need to make. - Plan ahead, but don’t pay in advance
Funeral homes sell plans that promise better prices if you buy a package now, years before you die. Don’t do it, says Joshua Slocum, executive director of the Funeral Consumers Alliance (FCA), a consumer protection group in the death services industry.
“You can plan a funeral in advance without paying upfront,” he says. “Planning is not the same as prepaying.”
The downside to prepaying, according to Slocum, is that your situation can change between the time you pay and the time you die. Funeral homes can go bankrupt and leave you with no one to claim the service you prepaid from. Or you may die in a city far from the funeral home and cemetery you paid for. “Comparing prices at the time of death is a much better strategy for saving money,” Slocum says.
The only exception is if you are expecting a Medicaid disbursement. In that case, a prepaid funeral may be a wise decision.
If you’re worried you won’t have enough money to pay for your funeral, create a payable-on-death account, Slocum says. This is a bank account that allows the person you designate as beneficiary to receive the money in the account when you die. The idea is that your beneficiary uses the money to pay for your funeral. A payable on death account works like any other bank account, so you can make regular deposits while you’re alive.
- Know the average costs
The FCA has links on its website to detailed lists of funeral costs, by state. Take a look to get an idea of what you can expect to pay in your area, from the cost of a casket to the price of the hearse that will take you to the cemetery. - Compare products
The national average cost of a funeral with burial has been $7,848, in 2021. So you have to evaluate this like any other major purchase. You wouldn’t buy a car from the first dealership you visit. So don’t pay for a funeral before visiting more than one funeral home.
You could save thousands of dollars by just going a few miles further. Call several funeral homes and get a quote. Some funeral homes are reluctant to give prices, but if they resist, insist. Funeral regulations set by the Federal Trade Commission require them to give prices over the phone or in person.
They are not required to give prices online or by email, but there are efforts underway by consumer groups to update the 1984 rule for the digital age and require funeral homes to post their prices online. You can get some pricing information online at funeral home comparison site Funeralocity.com , which offers a breakdown of goods and services available at 10,000 funeral homes nationwide.
- What the product and service packages include
Funeral homes sell packages of products and services, but sometimes they include more than you might want. Other times they don’t include all the products and services you want. For example, the package may not include a headstone or cemetery plot. Ask for a detailed list in advance, with prices for each service or product. - Buy only what you want
You don’t have to buy a package. You can choose which products and services to purchase individually and combine them to have the funeral you want. It is also not necessary to buy everything from the funeral home.
You can save money by purchasing your floral arrangements , urn, or grave site elsewhere. You can even buy the coffin elsewhere. The average cost of a casket purchased from a funeral home is $2,500. Amazon sells a coffin for $999 with free shipping for its Prime members. Really.
- Consider becoming a member of a memorial society
These nonprofit organizations offer local funeral home pricing surveys and guidance for planning a burial. Many of them negotiate discounts at local funeral homes for their members. They’re like a funeral buyers club. The one-time cost of membership varies, but generally costs less than $50. To find a memorial society near you, visit the FCA website, which publishes a state-by-state list of such societies. - Talk about the topic and detail your wishes in writing
Share with your loved ones the type of funeral you want to have and how much you want to spend. Be specific, but know that your loved ones may have difficulty granting all your wishes.
“Planning a funeral doesn’t mean giving orders to your survivors,” Slocum says. “It’s a conversation you have with your children (or other loved ones). Include them in the process.”
If you’re too specific with your plans, you can make the burden of organizing your funeral heavier, Slocum says. It might make it difficult for your family to have that jazz funeral you want, so don’t make them feel guilty because they didn’t carry out your final wishes exactly. Let them know that it’s okay if it ends up being a saxophone solo at your grave. You won’t be hearing it anyway.